“No One will Ever Love Me” – The Impact of Romantic Rejection on Intrapersonal Communication (A Qualitative Study)

Romantic rejection has an important impact on self-image, self-esteem, and social motivation. Although past research has successfully explored the negative impact of rejection on an individual’s mental and physical health, the effects on intrapersonal communication may need more exploration. The present study aims to investigate the impact of romantic rejection on inner dialogue, analyzing the changes in linguistics and cognition and the effects on physical and psychological well-being. A qualitative approach was chosen as the research method, using six semi-structured interviews, with both men and women who have recently been abandoned by their romantic partners. The results of the study indicate that the inner dialogue tends to be concentrated on self-shaming, self-accusations, and self-criticism. The analysis of the interviews revealed the frequent use of nouns and adjectives that describe pain, the use of adjectives in self-addressed insults, and adverbs of frequency such as “never”, used in future tense constructions to predict negative outcomes. Another finding was that the negative inner dialogue is expected to continue until the individual receives a suitable cognitive closure for the rejection. Intrapersonal communication following romantic rejection appears to be dominated by rumination and the predominant emotions were found to be: sadness, shame, anger, despair, and social anxiety. Rejection is a significant threat, followed by a drop in self-esteem and this study illustrates its negative impact on inner dialogue. The present study is intended to provide the basis for continued research in intrapersonal communication post-rejection and could serve as a framework for cognitive-behavioral therapy. Future research is planned to monitor and determine the duration of the negative self-talk predisposition, post-romantic rejection.